Well, I don’t want this to be a boring post, so I will keep the description as short as possible.
I had an interview with UPS on Thursday. The email told me to wear jeans, wear no jewelry, and to bring no personal belongings. Right off the bat, it sounded sketchy. I had to drive 50 minutes to get there, and along the way the gps freaked out and also fell off the windshield, so I was holding it with one hand and driving with the other. [Stacy, how you have failed me]* I finally arrived, only to have the security guard tell me in broken english (he was indian) that Kevin (whoever KEVIN was…) was in Ventura until 8. He then handed me a scrap of paper with some address in Ventura on it. I tried to have a conversation with him, but all I could figure out was that some guy named Kevin was in Ventura (50 minutes the other direction, back where I had started) and that Kevin wanted me to meet him there.
It was sounding even more sketchy at this point, and getting into the evening, but this was the first job-related action I had gotten since I arrived in the hippie-infested land, and I was not about to turn it down. I trekked all the way back to Ventura, and when I couldn’t find the address, I followed a UPS truck** until it led me to a parking lot. I got out of my car and marched towards a man in a vest and tie. I figured the vested man must know where I was supposed to go.
“Hey, sorry, I have a question. I’m kinda lost, and I went to Rancho Conejo for an interview, and then they sent me here…” I began, awkwardly. “What is your name?” the man interrupted. I told him my name, and then he led me off to a covered area with a picnic table, where he asked me my social security number and other details about my life.
It was at this point that I realized this man must be the famed Kevin, of whom Indian Security Guard had prophesied.
Then, he told me that it was a terrible job and that it was HIS job to tell me what a terrible job it was.
At this point in the conversation, I was realizing how much he looked like Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
“Basically, it’s you and a truck, all day. A box every two seconds. Heavy boxes, too. Sweating all day.”
At this point, I was wondering how I could get far, far away from this job.
Then, he asked if I had questions, and I told him I would not be available during the school year, as I would be at Malibu. Then he gave me his business card and said I should email him tomorrow, and that I should try to get in with the temp agency.
It was at this point that I realized that his name was not Kevin, or Joseph, but Calvin. Thanks, Mr. Indian Security Guard.
Weirdest Interview I have ever had, but he was very helpful, and I am now in touch with the temp agency. There aren’t really a lot of obvious applications that I can see, except for that God is always in control, and that things are not always what we first think they are. An interview for a terrible job could be a great lead. A meeting in Rancho Conejo could be in Ventura. A Kevin could be a Calvin. Or a Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading. Here is your reward: a beautiful, albeit unnecessary, picture of Calvin…I mean Joseph.
*Stacy is the name of my GPS
**I get 5 Nancy Drew points for following the UPS truck to my destination.